Two Souls by the Shore
I haven’t given much commentary for any of poems thus far, but I think this one warrants some discussion. Venn diagrams have been on my mind lately (I blame you, ilovecharts!) and I had this idea to write two poems that intersect to form another. A few quick Google searches (very quick, mind you) turned up nothing similar, so I think this is groundbreaking stuff here. Too bad I have to mess it up with two rather terrible poems; howver, I am satisified with the one in the intersection - it’s the one I wrote first.
Perhaps I was too ambitious in making the poems rhyme. Overall, I find it a bit awkward with incomplete metaphors and disconnected imagery. Still, it’s not that bad for work done between 2am and 4am. For what it’s worth, I managed to put eight syllables to a line and mostly kept to iambic tetrameter (“a line” meaning a line in a poem, not in a section of the diagram - the stanzas are jammed in there all willy-nilly). The stories match up as well.
I’ll definitely be trying this again. Hopefully next time I’ll come up with something less bleh. :)
NOW - time for sleep.